When it comes to men, for the most part, they are ready to have sex anytime and anywhere. Women, on the other hand, are typically not physiologically designed that way. Women need to feel intimately connected to their partner, they need to feel sexually aroused and desired, and, for some, that can take time. Women need to build up to the anticipation of having sexual relations.
Foreplay is key!
And, by foreplay, I don’t mean touching, kissing, stroking, and licking; although, all of that is greatly appreciated and much needed when the main event is approaching. I’m talking about building up to an evening of sexual pleasure that can take days or a week.
So what does that look like? First, mutually set a date for your sexual interlude several days or a week in advance. Women tell your partner what you need from them in order to feel sexy and desired. Here are some suggestions:
When he leaves the house, or throughout the day, ask him to kiss you sensually, softly with a little bit of tongue. Not the ram down your throat kind of tongue.
When he walks by you in the house ask him to gently caress a part of your body: your cheek, neck, shoulder, back, butt, thigh, hand, or breast. Let him decide, that way you will be anticipating it, but surprised when you feel it on your body. Close your eyes and really take in the touch.
Ask him to look at you sexually every once in awhile like he’s visualizing undressing you and what he’s going to do to you and you do the same to him.
Sext each other throughout the day and week telling the person what you want them to do to you. Role play if that helps.
Walk around each other naked and take in your bodies. If it’s difficult being naked around your partner then work up to it. Walk around with your bra and underwear, then remove your bra, then go completely naked. Work at your pace.
Flirt with him throughout the week.
I can hear all you women saying, “Hell no! I can’t do that. I can’t ask for that.” Women you need to leave your inhibitions at the door. You are a sexual being. Your body experiences pleasure from sexual touch. Your body is not just for procreation. You need to tap back into your true uninhibited primal sexual nature. If you really want to reignite the passion in your relationship, this is the way to do it. Let go!
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Fantasize throughout the day and week about what you want your partner to do to you and what you are going to do to him. Visualize it for at least five minutes a day. Feel into how that’s going to feel in your body. How his touch will feel on your skin when he’s caressing and kissing you and when he’s inside you. If you feel anxious, pull back from the visualization and breathe slowly to allow your body to relax and return to a calm state. You get to be in charge and tell your partner what you want and what you like.
Now, go out and buy yourself some sexy lingerie and new bras and underwear. These are for you, although he’ll get to enjoy them as well. Wear them throughout the week. Look at yourself in the mirror with them on and also look at yourself in the mirror naked with no judgment or criticism. Lovingly and sensually touch your body as you look at yourself telling yourself how beautiful and sexy you are.
On the night of your sexual date, have a bath or shower to feel clean and let yourself relax. Put on some nice scented body lotion. Make sure the bedroom is clear of clutter. Put fresh sheets on the bed. Light candles. Put on music. Put on mood lighting.
If you’re still anxious, go buy some weed to allow yourself to be less inhibited and more relaxed to be yourself. Remember this is supposed to be fun and sensual and erotic and animalistic. Let yourself be all those things and more.
Find out more about connecting with your body in the multi-award-winning book Embodied: How to Connect to Your Body, Ignite Your Intuition, and Harness Universal Energy for Healing.
With Blessings,
Vicky xo